Dear Girl Scouts:
I have discovered your secret. Your Thin Mint cookies are laced with crack. How else to explain my desire to eat whole boxes at a time? I ask that you desist at once or I will be forced to roll myself out of the house and report you to the proper authorities.
Dear Music Community:
Embrace the subjunctive. The following song titles are definitely NOT part of the solution �What if God Was One of Us� �Damn, I Wish I Was Your lover� etc. It�s WERE, people. Learn it, live it, love it.
Dear California Weather:
While I enjoy a heat wave as much as the next girl, and relish the ability to wear flip flops at the beginning of March, please keep in mind that I have no air conditioning. So while 80 is a lovely day, 90 is me lying on my living room floor in a sweaty puddle. Just a thought.
Dear Donald Trump:
I find you utterly repulsive. Yet despite the fact that it is basically an hour long commercial for all things Trump, I love �The Apprentice� with a fiery passion. Please stop being so self-adoring and generally smarmy so I may watch the show with less internal conflict. Also, try to come up with some better prizes. Ten minute with you? Please.
Dear Yappy Dog Who Lives Next Door:
Stop it. Seriously. I hate you so very, very much. I never realized how much until I spent a large chunk of time and money to put in a garden which I cannot sit in for five minutes without you convulsing into piercing little dog barks. I think my dog could swallow you. Don�t make me test that theory.
Dear Plants In My New Garden:
Please grow. I know the dog keeps stepping on you, but I ask that you persevere.
Dear TiVo:
I have never loved any inanimate object the way I love you. You have improved the quality of my life. Let�s never part. But please stop doing that thing where you don�t change the channel and just tape random channels instead of the ones that have the actual show I want to watch. However I do love the way you tape things I might like. It�s so thoughtful, and it enables me to see random episodes of South Park and a movie about killer bees.
Dear Sleep:
We were once the best of friends. Please come back. I miss you more than I can say.
Student teaching begins - 2005-02-20
Three more days!! - 2005-02-07
Weekend recap - 2005-01-31
Oh the hate - 2005-01-26
Yay for staying home! - 2005-01-24