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i married the love of my life on December 27. still trying to figure everything out. this is my life.

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based on the e.e. cummings poem:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

We just discovered that K accidently threw out the bag containing every one of our wedding pictures and all of our memorabilia - notes people had written us, the program, the invitation, my garter, my tiara, the note K wrote me on our wedding day - everything I had saved to put in a scrapbook. Every memory of our wedding.

It feels like this is too hard. It seems like every day it is something new and awful and difficult. Every day I just try to make it through. I don't know if it is something wrong with me - if other people see these things as little ups and downs - or if this is what life if. Endless to do lists punctuated by horrible disappointments and loneliness and sadness. Maybe it will seem different tomorrow, but tonight it just seems too hard. This is not how I thought life would be.

Student teaching begins - 2005-02-20
Three more days!! - 2005-02-07
Weekend recap - 2005-01-31
Oh the hate - 2005-01-26
Yay for staying home! - 2005-01-24

i carry | your heart

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I don't know how to describe this