Friday night was the very bad part. First, some background. I have something called hypothyroidism. Because of a disease I had when I was younger, I received radiation which completely got rid of my thyroid. So now I take a synthetic thyroid. Your thyroid controls almost everything including heart rate, metabolism, etc. I have been on the same dose for about ten years. This past June, a doctor lowered my dose. Since then I have gained ten pounds that I just can�t take off (it�s hard to lose weight because my metabolism isn�t controlled by food or exercise, but always remains the same) and have felt more sluggish. I went to the doctor last week and she told my Friday that she was lowering my dose again. This really upset me. I am really unhappy at the weight I am now and now it looks like I will just gain more. Plus I really hate being tired all the time.
Anyway. I got this news Friday afternoon and was upset. I wanted K to comfort me and kind of coax me out of my mood. He, however, was in a good mood and didn�t really want to deal with me being upset. This escalated into probably the worst fight we�ve ever had. There was a lot of yelling and both of us said some nasty things. I actually had a few moments where I thought we were going to split up.
It was just awful. And I felt like I couldn�t call anyone because I wouldn�t want to admit that I was having a fight like that with my husband of a month and a half. Ever here I don�t want to get into it very much.
After that, things got much better. K was feeling much less angry in the morning, and was sorry for yelling. I got breakfast in bed and a very nice card. I had to spend part of the day at a Junior League meeting for the project we are working on, but then K and I went to Sam�s and stocked up on all kinds of goodies. The rest of the day was spent cleaning house (a pain, but so nice once it�s done) and watching �Le Divorce� which was so-so.
Sunday the weather was absolutely beautiful (yay for Southern California) so we used our newly purchases Disney annual passes and went to Disneyland and California Adventure. It wasn�t too crowded so we had a lot of fun.
Then we came home and got tax stuff together and I filled out my grad school application and we watched �Second Hand Lions� which was SO good.
I don�t know. I hate fighting with K more than anything in the world. We love each other so much and it seems like we should be able to just get along all the time. And that maybe there�s something wrong with us, or with me, that causes us to fight too often. It just makes me sad. When we fight like that I feel for a little while like he doesn�t love me. It�s such an awful and lonely feeling and I have trouble shaking it off right away. Fight hangover, I guess. But everything is going to be okay.
I don�t know. Any married people who would like to dispense marriage advice are more than welcome.
Reading: Catching up on magazines
Craving: A 3 day weekend. Good thing one's coming up!
Thinking: Almost time for lunch! Thank goodness!
Student teaching begins - 2005-02-20
Three more days!! - 2005-02-07
Weekend recap - 2005-01-31
Oh the hate - 2005-01-26
Yay for staying home! - 2005-01-24